Today my mom would have been turning 55. I actually did not realize that it was her birthday until just a couple hours ago which is great. I just happen to be over at my dad's house for dinner tonight. I called him this morning and asked if we could come over tonight. I was signing up for netflix after dinner and I was looking at some dates and realized that it is already March and then realized that it was March 1st. My mind is always on the twins lately so I think that is why I got so far today without remembering. I have been thinking about it the last couple weeks knowing it was coming. I looked at Annie and said today is March 1st. She then looked at me and she said yeah, that is why you're here. I said no I didn't even plan it that way. So this worked out well that Grant, I and the twins came over here tonight. My mom probably had something to do with it :).
This year was a lot easier than last year that is for sure. I remember last year I was in Relief Society in a new ward. The lesson was on trials. The teacher asked if anyone had experienced a time where they felt like Heavenly Father had really helped them through a trial. I felt so strongly to share how Heavenly Father had helped me so much after my mom passed away and about all of the little things that he did for my family through that time. We just felt like Heavenly Father had really prepared us in so many ways. Anyways I raised my hand and as soon as she called on me I started balling. It seemed like forever until I could finally start speaking. I was SO embarrassed. New ward and everything. Anyways I still could not stop crying even after I was done speaking. Then what hymn do we sing to close? We sing...Where can I turn for peace? I was a wreck. Then the roll comes around to me as we are singing, actually I couldn't even sing, anyways the roll comes around and I see that it is March 1st. I start balling even harder. Not an easy day. I couldn't believe it. February just ends so soon so March always sneaks up on me. It is a good thing. Maybe one of these years I will go a whole day :).
I was thinking of her a lot this past week, these last couple months actually. I can't express how hard it is not having my mom here. It makes me so sad that I cant see her with the twins but I try to stay positive and also just try not to think about it too much. I love you mom and I miss you so much. Happy birthday!
That's such a sweet post. You are a very strong woman, and I'm sure your mother is proud to have a daughter that is such a great mother.
ReplyDeleteOh Julia, I'm so glad you have such a strong testimony, and that you are strong enough to get through this. Although I never knew your mom, I know she was a great women because she raised an awesome daughter! I'm glad we have gotten to to each other better, it's been great! Love you guys.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Sister Warner, you are the best!
ReplyDeleteI am glad you got to be at your Dad's. I am sure your Mother did have something to do with that. Sending you thoughts and love.
ReplyDeleteMy other great friend Ashlee lost her mom a week after she had her first little one. After seeing her and you go through this situation, I just want you to know that you two are tough ladies! You're such strong people, and I'm so grateful for your good example! Miss you!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for sharing Julia. I know we talked about it before... I can't imagine not being able to share your beautiful babies with your mom. She's been there with you, I'm sure of it!
ReplyDeleteI love you sweetie, I know she is here and so proud of the mommy you are. Watching you with Warner and Hannah, you are everything she taught you to be. You are a reflection of your amazing mom. We are blessed to have you!
ReplyDeleteim balling. i just want to give you the biggest hug! what a sweet post.
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